It’s so interesting how we choose to define ourselves. Often without knowing where those definitions came from, or realizing how they’ve limited our career (and life) possibilities.
Perhaps a grade school teacher said you were bad at painting. And you’ve spent the past 40 years saying “I’m not creative,” missing out on a myriad of opportunities and the joy that comes from using your gifts.
I watched a video of Barb Corcoran sharing how her grade 3 teacher, Sister Marie, made her feel stupid and how that’s played out in her adult life. (My apologies that YouTube has taken it down so I had to remove it from this blog post!)
Basically the gist of it was that because she couldn’t read at the age of 8 (no one knew she was dyslexic), the nun told her if she didn’t learn to pay attention, she would “always be stupid.”
How she continues to feel the pain of that today despite all her success— even when she walks into a cocktail party and tries to meet new people. A situation I personally loathe because I’m such an introvert.
By embracing her real talents, she’s been able to flip that insecurity about appearing stupid into a new inner “script” that builds her confidence.
Because we undervalue our natural gifts, we tend to take them for granted.
Here’s what I mean. One Staging Diva reader commented on one of my blog posts,
“I have never thought of myself as a creative type, but have always had reactions to rooms when I walk in them. I just know the things in the room making me uncomfortable, or relaxed, and can give solutions or suggestions to make them better.
I thought I was just weird and didn’t realize I might be a potential home stager!”
Decorating and Home Staging Are “Easy”
If you have a natural eye for decorating, you’ve probably assumed everyone else does too. They don’t.
What comes easily to you is actually a struggle for 90% of the population. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be so many ugly homes on the real estate market.
Your friends wouldn’t be asking for your decorating advice.
I was born to be a home stager so when I walk into a room I can’t help but notice what’s wrong with the placement of furnishings. How the light is too dim, how the color on the wall sucks.
It’s a reflex. It’s relatively easy most of the time.
The moment I fully realized everyone couldn’t do this “decorating thing,” was when I suggested a client move her bed onto a different wall of her apartment. She replied,
“I’ve lived her for 7 years and it never occurred to me to put the bed over there!”
That was a total eye opener! How is that possible? Doesn’t everyone move their furniture around in every possible combination when they move in?
Turns out they don’t! The movers plunk everything down during the rush of moving day, and that’s where it stays for as long as the family lives there.
If there’s a nail on the wall, they put the first available picture on it. Whether the picture is too small, too large, or the nail is too high.
They never give it a second thought.
When you have the natural talent you need to be a home stager, something I don’t believe anyone can teach you (one can teach rules, not talent), you don’t operate this way.
- You’ve always paid attention to the placement of your furniture and art.
- You’ve tried different colors on the walls.
- You feel uncomfortable when you walk into a room that has it all wrong.
- You care where you sit in a restaurant because sitting in the wrong place just feels wrong.
Others think you’re too picky, or neurotic. Maybe they’ve made you feel bad for your sensitivity.
I’ve heard that my entire life. I still hear it every time I go to a restaurant with my mother.
Instead of feeling bad about my hyper sensitivity to my environment now, I embrace it for the gift that it is!
It’s the gift that’s brought me here and allowed me to help home sellers make tens of thousands of dollars more when they sell their homes.
My gift has allowed me to help close to 10,000 other home stagers earn a living from their own decorating talents.
Have you taken your own talent for granted? How have others made you feel insecure for your gifts? What are you going to do right now to change that “script” and step into your own power?
Please share in the comments, I really want to know and I know you’ll inspire others too!
Debra,
Great as always! who would ever believe that Barb Corchran feels this way?! My biggest insecurity tends to be twofold: I’m always studying high end design resources so I know what top designers are doing and, on the flip side, I can’t always articulate why something feels right or wrong. At times this has meant that I can get pushed around a bit. Usually by tradespeople that have “never done it this way before”. I have learned to stand my ground more and find that I love staging far more than redesign because those issues rarely arise in staging. does that make sense?
That totally makes sense Lori. Thanks so much for posting! Your comment has inspired another post for me, keep watching!
I love the video of Barbara Corcoran — don’t most of us feel that way at a party or networking event when people turn away from us or ignore us?! I hate that, too! However, I disagree that staging and design can’t be taught to those of us with an interest and passion for it — I always critiqued (in my head!) people’s houses and rooms before I ever started my staging business, but I still needed to learn a lot about decorating techniques, selecting colors, scale, balance, etc. That’s why I got my interior decorating certificate at a local college and took staging and color classes. There’s ALWAYS more to learn, plus it helps to be able to explain to clients WHY things don’t work and why you are making certain choices.
Amy, to clarify. I’m not saying design principals can’t be taught. What I’m saying is, innate talent can’t be taught. I am not blessed with a good singing voice. I could hire a private voice coach and undoubtedly sound better with training and practice. But I will never sound as good as someone blessed with a great singing voice (even someone who hasn’t had all the training I have).
I agree, there are always things to learn. If that weren’t the case, I wouldn’t continue to invest $10,000 a year in my own personal development.
Most of my clients are fine when I explain I’m doing something because it “looks better” or “it will have better appeal with your target home buyer,” or “it will better meet your needs because you’ll be able to comfortably do x, y or z now.” I’ve never had to explain the “rule of thirds”, or color theory.
Sometimes we like to know the “rules” because it makes us feel more comfortable, or secure. Perhaps we would have made the same recommendation (from instinct) without knowing exactly “why”. Whatever works for you.I don’t believe any one way is right or wrong.
I certainly would never discourage anyone from continuing to learn. That’s how we grow personally, professionally and creatively.
My bigger point was that when we’re good at something we take it for granted and assume that everyone else can do whatever it is too. In this case, know when furniture is in the wrong place or a different color would be better on the walls, etc.
Thanks for commenting and sharing your experience.
This is the exact advice I was given by my fitness mentor when substitute teaching an aerobics class for the most popular instructor many years ago. If you don’t walk in to these stressful situations with that “f-you” attitude, they will eat you alive. Luckily staging consults are nothing like that! Phew!
Love it, thanks for sharing Susan!
Debra, this article takes me back to a phone conversation you and I had last year….you were the first person to understand that it’s a ‘must’ for me to sit facing the entrance at a restaurant, without me trying to explain something that I really can’t explain! To echo what Barbara shares in her video, in that same phone conversation I shared with you the discomfort I feel at networking events. You replied by saying “I’ve attended a lot of networking events, but what I didn’t tell you was how much time I spent in the Ladies’ Room!”
Kate, I’m so glad you commented! I totally remember our conversation now that you’ve reminded me of it. What a perfect thing to add to this article, appreciate you speaking up! Thanks for reminding me of the whole thing. I think I’m going to write another post about this!
Debra, thank you. I knew I wasn’t alone! My family implies that I’m too picky when I know I’ll feel more comfortable in a certain spot in a restaurant, too. I’ve been “fussing” over where furnishings, artwork and accessories should be placed in my own interiors since I first moved out of my parents’ house. My mother was the “Queen of Re-design” in her house–still is–so I couldn’t wait to dress up my own home! Through the years, I’ve internally critiqued commercial interiors to family and friends’ homes. I’m so glad I found home staging as a career that feels like me!
Ok so that all just resonated w/me- I absolutely love going through model homes! And when I walk into peoples homes I always have to stop in each room and feel the energy — wow! But you’re right I know a couple people already doing this there’s definitely competition out there –
Kimberly, If this article resonated with you, I know you’ll also enjoy this one:
Addicted to Decorating or Born to Be a Home Stager
That’s great that you already know some home stagers. Doesn’t mean there isn’t room for you too though. I have yet to see a market that has too many. All you have to do is compare the number of home stagers to the number of realtors in any given area.
Thanks for commenting!