“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
– Robert Frost, The Road Not taken
I once read about a university survey that was conducted in various nursing homes. These elderly men and women were clearly at the end of their lives and they knew it. When they were asked what they regretted most as they looked back over their lives, the number one response was “the paths not taken.”
Not surprisingly, that answer ranked much higher than “things I tried that ended badly.” That’s because people generally don’t regret mistakes because making a mistake just means we’ve learned something.
My wish for you is that you stop allowing fear to hold you back from trying something you want to do. The path towards entrepreneurship is usually the one less traveled because people are afraid of the unknown.
Here’s how I look at it. If it doesn’t work out, the worst case scenario is that you pick yourself up and try something else. But you’ll be starting fresh with the irreplaceable and priceless knowledge that at least you tried. It could very likely work out better than you ever imagined!
Either way, it sure beats hanging onto fear and never trying at all.
If you get out on that limb and start your own home staging business, no matter what happens, you will likely never regret having done it. Home stagers, this would be a great time to leave a comment for aspiring stagers about how you got past the fear and followed your dream.
I was a counselor for 30 years. I loved working with people. I was beginning to believe there were no happy people in the world since all I listened to were people in pain. I worked as a legal assistant for 3 years and that was just boring.
I want to contribute to beauty in this world. It is not too late for me to take that path. I am doing it as I can afford to get into it with my money from my legal job, for now. It won’t be long til I’ll be out there helping people in a whole new way and loving it!
Debra,. thanks for keeping me on track.
Jessica
Debra and Stacy, you both inspire me! I have only been on this road about 3 months and have felt the highs and lows so far in the journey. When I feel down, I just listen to the Staging Diva audio courses again and continue to take new steps to move forward and feel inspired again! Every day I am happy and grateful that I have this new path and inspiration to look forward to, and regardless of how quickly success may come glad that I will always know I gave it my best shot. Thank you:)
Fantastic Mary Ann, you are totally on the right track! Thanks so much for that feedback and taking the time to comment. Much appreciated!
Thanks Stacy and Debra!
I’ll comment, though I consider myself to be one of the aspiring home stagers hoping for sage advice and inspiration from established home stagers. 🙂
I think my fear comes from being in mid-life and the uncertainty of who and what I am in this different phase. Life has, for years, centered on the needs of others, or the demands of a career and a community. Now, here I am. Just me and a dream called Alaska Premier Home Staging. I have certainly set out to challeng myself in a completely new and unfamiliar way. Now I have no set rules or deadlines. No children at home any longer. No boss to please, or make upset. I know I possess the persistance, the skills, the creativity, and the intelligence to be successful. What I’m lacking right now is self confidence. I think this comes from feeling unprepared, somewhat confused, and unfocused – similar to how I once felt when I had to speak in front of a group of peers at a statewide conference without being well prepared.
So, to combat these unsettling feelings and lack of confidence, I’ve committed to organizing myself, clarifying my plan, repeatedly listening to audio trainings, and reading through all five lessons to build my business foundaton. For me, Coaching Sessions with Debra will provide me with a sounding board and a mentor, but more importantly, a process for being accountable to myself and to Alaska Premier Home Staging.
I listened to the recent tape from the September Staging Diva Dialog call. Debra, to help us see she also suffers from inertia or procrastination, mentions her strategy to commit to presentations or projects in order to set deadlines for herself and recommit her energy and attention. I think that discussion during the call was meant for me! Hearing Debra helped me to realize that it isn’t my lack of skill or creativity bogging me down – it’s fear of rejection, failure, and disappointment.
Today, for the moment, I’m back in the saddle, with a more optimistic outlook and a new committment. Running my own business will be a series of temporary set backs but it will also be a series of successes. I looked up the definition for “entreprenuer.” It means a “risk-taking business person.” Guess I’m on track. 🙂
This discussion is perfect because I have been struggling these past few months with my languishing home staging business. Partly because I have had so many distractions this summer, some because I’m unorganized and unfocused, and also because I’m in mid-life and struggling to find my stride and confidence in this new phase of my second adulthood. The definition of an Entreprenuer is “a risk-taking business person.” That being said, it suddently occurred to me that it’s not unexpected to feel uncertain, maybe even insecure sometimes about being a new business owner.
The definition also made me think that I have to watch my negative self-talk. And since I’m my own boss, I could boost my confidence if I gave myself a pat on the back more often.
I just listened to the September Staging Diva Dialog audio today and Debra reminds us that she too gets off track. Her strategy to get focused again is to set a deadline or a committment that will force her to get organized. “Know thyself,” they say. If we know our fears or shortcomings – those things that get in our way of moving forward or staying the course, we can also use strategies to recommit and refocus. I plan to set up more frequent Coaching sessions with Debra so it forces me to focus my energy, make committments, and be accountable to her and to my goals. This will lead to more confidence, and I expect, more action for Alaska Premier Home Staging.
Sometimes, each of us gets distracted. We wander back onto the familiar path of self-doubt and old habits when we really want instead to take the path less traveled. It’s a little scarey, and I guess we can expect some bumps along the way, eh?
Thanks for writing Stacy and I so enjoy our one-on-one Accelerator Business Coaching calls to. You have also been a great contributor to our Staging Diva Dialog discussions.
Negative self-talk is a demon we all fight with, whether we’re entrepreneurs or not.
There will also always be bumps along the way to getting to where we’re going. Most people give up when they hit those, which is why it’s so easy to spot the people who are really successful in any aspect of life. A good portion of why they achieve success is because they learn to be resilient in the face of challenges.
If you weren’t feeling uncertain at times, you wouldn’t be challenging yourself. It’s easy to keep doing the same old thing, but it’s rarely as satisfying as taking on a new challenge and rising to it. And isn’t it amazing how soon after mastering something we look back and wonder why we blew the whole thing so out of proportion when we were listening to that negative self-talk?
Was it Mark Twain who said something like, “Most of the troubles I worried about in my life, never actually happened”?
Thanks Debra for your constant validations and affirmations. I am in my own way – I realize that my lack of self confidence and non-response from others I am trying to engage can sometimes be very disappointing as well as paralyzing. But It helps me to read all the successful things going on with other home stagers in these postings and your other communications. Each of the home stagers you mention were once where I am now. This helps me to know that I am not alone. It build hope and faith in oneself, and trust in the process – no matter how long or lonely it sometimes feel when you are trying to create your own business.
Because I am so new to the program (1 week, ugh!) and have NO business experience, I feel a little more hesitant to know exactly WHERE to start. I don’t have a business name (though I have one in mind!), no business cards, website, etc. so I don’t know how to get 1-2 jobs before the first couple lessons without those things. I revised my resume last night, taking it from a medical professional to a person who is looking to make a 360 degree career change at this point in my life instead of focusing on my present job. You should have seen all the positive, wonderful stuff I said about myself! Ok, some of it is true, such as my ability to transfer current skills over to a new career. For instance, I am very good with my patients. I can also be very good with customers or clients, because I am a people person and can develop a great rapport with almost anyone! So even though I don’t really FEEL as successful as I indicated I am (though I did not lie), my idea is from here on out, every step I take, I will “fake it” until I do feel it. I will take small steps and take action based on what a confident person might do. I will try not to let self doubt stop me. Because right now I am having a hard time with believing I can do this, even though I know I have the talent and ability! I guess it’s the “Business” part of it that scares me! Not the actual work itself.
Hey Taylene, taking on a new identity and perception of yourself isn’t easy. I know this from the personal experience of reinventing myself and my career several times over the years. Each time, I felt like a total phony and had to dig deep to allow myself to see the talents and experiences I already had that related to my new endeavor.
I’ve found writing in a journal can be helpful in this. I write out all the stuff the negative voice in my head is saying and then I try and look for proof that it isn’t true. Much like how you said you’ve realized that your work as a medical professional means you are good at building rapport with people. That will certainly serve you well since people will hire you because they feel a connection with you. I’m willing to bet your past experience has also prepared you to handle multiple priorities at the same time and be fast at coming up with solutions to problems. See where I’m going with this?
Thanks for commenting and putting a voice to all those worries we all share. I know you will inspire others!
Mary Ann, i can tell you are going to do great home staging things in Seward, Alaska! You can see by the many LONG comments I have submitted to this post of Debra’s that becoming a confident, successful home staging business is a journey that one sets out on.
It is a process of learning and finding one’s wings. Take off is scarey, crashes come and go, but finally you learn how to fly!! Stay with it.
Debra is an experienced pilot and the rest of us are your wing women and men!
Taylene, my message to Mary Ann is also for you! Feeling the “ugh” is normal but don’t allow yourself to hover there very long! Debra’s suggestion to journal can allow you to voice your shaky self but also find and record inspiring voices who have come through the fires of transformation.
If you can swing it, join the monthly Staging Diva Dialog calls for support, incredible business tips and ideas, affirmation and accountability. Debra always starts the call off by asking us to share our three recent successes; big and small! Its empowering and you wont feel so isolated.
Stacy, thanks so much for sharing your experience with others. I really appreciate it! And looking forward to speaking with you next week on our next Staging Diva Dialog call!